Today we have Ann Gimpel as a guest on the blog and she will be sharing....
The Value of
True Friendship
In this era
where most of us have hundreds, if not thousands, of social media “friends”
we’ve never met, there’s a tendency to either steer clear of our real friends,
or not bother with flesh-and-blood relationships in favor of sitting in front
of a screen. Virtually all of my writer friends are, well, virtual. There are
only a couple I truly know. And if it weren’t for attending conventions, I
wouldn’t know them.
So where am I
going with this? Quite a while ago someone did a study on social support. It’s
been replicated a number of times, so I’m certain the findings were valid. In
any event, the perception that we have social supports is just as effective as
really having them. By that token, virtual friendships are just as potent as
real ones.
One of my
flesh-and-blood writer buddies has spent most of her career as a journalist.
When she was young, she worked for a very famous novelist, doing research for
his books. Back then (1980s) authors all had agents and they visited those
agents and their publishing houses, which by the way, treated their writers
like gold. In other words, they had lots of human interaction.
Roll the clock
forward a few decades. The Big Six no longer treat their authors as anything
other than commodities except for a few consistently high producers like
Stephen King. There are hundreds of small presses and hundreds of thousands of
independent writers who self publish.
Before I started
writing, I came from a long career as a psychologist which was very isolating.
I always chose to practice in a group setting so I’d have someone to talk with.
Yes, I know I always had patients to talk with, but that’s not a friendship.
The therapy relationship exists solely for the client and can be very draining
on the therapist. We worry a lot about our clients, but never tell them that.
For many of the
same reasons I selected group practice, I chose to work with publishers when I
wanted to become a writer. I truly appreciate having copy editors, line
editors, cover artists, acquisitions editors, etc. to visit with because
writing, too, is a very isolating occupation.
For the true
introverted intuitives of the world, the Internet is a huge boon. It allows
them distance from other humans while also providing the illusion of social
support.
So, what is true
friendship? Once upon a time it was my best friend who I picked up the phone
and called. Do I still do that? Yes, but not nearly as much. Now I use email.
It’s faster and easier. Or I text. It would be a fascinating social psychology
experiment to take a close look at how people craft their relationships in
modern times and whether there’s any connection between the high divorce rate
and our tendency to gravitate toward virtual friendships.
What’s important
to you in friendships? Do you have flesh-and-blood friends or web friends, or
both? Do you feel differently about them? If so why?
About the Author
Bio:
Ann Gimpel is a clinical psychologist, with a Jungian
bent. Avocations include mountaineering, skiing, wilderness
photography and, of course, writing. A lifelong aficionado of the
unusual, she began writing speculative fiction a few years ago. Since then her
short fiction has appeared in a number of webzines and anthologies. Several
paranormal romance novellas are available in e-format. Three novels, Psyche’s
Prophecy, Psyche’s Search, and Psyche's Promise are small press
publications available in e-format and paperback. Look for two more urban
fantasy novels coming this summer and fall: Fortune’s
Scion and Earth’s Requiem.
A husband, grown children, grandchildren and three wolf
hybrids round out her family.
@AnnGimpel (for Twitter)
Thanks so much for hosting me. Kate and Devon, the stars of Roman's Gold are stoked to be here. Btw, me too. I really like your blog. It's added more than a few items to my TBR shelves.
ReplyDeleteI hope today's guest blog topic isn't too esoteric. Sometimes I want to write about something other than the craft aspects of writing.
I love the fact that I can keep in touch with those flesh-and-blood friends more easily through social media. There are so many people that I would not be able to stay in touch with if it weren't for facebook and email. I'm also very introverted, so the interaction through the virtual filter of the internet is less draining to me than face-to-face interaction (but sometimes I still have to get out!)
ReplyDelete