Character Interview with Taylor Lane from Quicksilver Dreams

Today on the blog we are interviewing Taylor Lane from Quicksilver Dreams, by author Danube Adele, today’s book blast. Thanks for stopping by today Taylor and sharing with us. So here we go.

Character Name: Taylor Lane

Character Bio:

Awesome assistant to highly successful, super-sized asshole, Hollywood agent, but if this job doesn’t kill me, I can eventually be a shoe-in for one of the studio jobs and start making more money.

Bartender on the weekends – just to make a little extra money. I hated feeling the pinch of poverty growing up, so I just work harder. I never want to feel poor again.

Badass extraordinaire – Been taking kickboxing classes at my local gym for about a year. My roundhouse kick makes such a satisfying “pow” sound on the heavy bag. I might not look tough, but I can kick some *ss!

Describe yourself what is your worst and best quality?

The wonderfulness of me is I am like a dog with a bone when it comes to focusing myself. I can work hard and let the emotional abuse that comes with being an agent’s assistant roll right off my back. Ever seen Swimming with Sharks? I have thick skin, and I’ve earned the right to have it.

My worst qualities? My roommate thinks I’m bad because I don’t ever give anyone a chance. I suppose I have trust issues. When it comes to other people, I have no patience playing the let’s-get-to-know-each-other game and build a friendly relationship with someone. I have enough to do. If it’s not absolutely necessary, I don’t want to do it. I’m lucky I have Cynthia, and that only happened because I needed a roommate.

What is your biggest secret something no one knows about?

I have a recurring nightmare where I relive the day that was both the best and worst of my younger life. My mother took me to the LA County Fair to have what I think of as a Marsha and Carol Brady kind of a mother/daughter day, but unlike Carol Brady, my mom couldn’t make it a whole day without getting some kind of fix, be it drugs or alcohol. I was never sure. Near the end of the day, after we’d had the best day of my life, where she actually paid attention to me and made me feel like I was special to her, she left me outside one of the bars. I was too young to go in, but she promised to be right back out. Hours later, I was still waiting. Cold, scared, hungry, pitiful, panicked, crying. Strangers were coming up to me, and with great fear, I imagined they were trying to get at me. Of course I know now they were only trying to help. Someone eventually called the cops, and I was taken to my grandmother’s house. The feeling of abandonment never leaves me.

What are you most afraid of?

I can’t let anyone have power over me again. The memory of being so helpless and scared never leaves me. The deep hurt that just makes me want to bawl when I really let myself think of my mom is not acceptable. I can’t let myself be weak or dependent on anyone else again. If I refuse to let anyone get too close, then I can be safe, right?

What do you want more than anything?

I wish I could find my mom. I want to know why she left without a word. One day she dropped me off at my aunt’s and never looked back. What was so important that she couldn’t ever see me again? Did I do something? Is she even alive? That’s something that still gets to me.

What is your relationship status?

I’m single. My roommate has accused me of deliberately putting out “back the hell off” signals to guys, and maybe that’s true. Partly, though, I just don’t have any room to mess up. I can’t run home to mommy and daddy when I get hurt or if I go broke or something. I don’t even know who my father is. I work two jobs to make sure ends meet, and I have very little free time. Guys are a luxury.

How would you describe your sense of fashion?

Being an ex-trailer park girl who never used to have money for new clothes, and with the memory of kids teasing me about that all the time in school, I will always be careful about what I wear now. I love buying expensive, good quality pieces that will last. I’m patient. Budgeting is one of my things, and I am good at waiting until I can afford something. I am not a frivolous shopper. Only quality cut, classic pieces that will not go out of style, and nothing that’s just trendy. I watch the classy stars on the red carpet and take note of who looks like class and who looks like trash. Of course, I have regular, workout/hanging around watching TV kind of clothes, but those aren’t real interesting.

How much of a rebel are you?

I’m a rebel in the sense that I refuse to be taken care of. I will handle my own problems or die trying. There’s no way in hell I would ever call up my aunt or my cousin and see if they can help me out. I could be bleeding out my eyes and coughing out my last precious breaths of life and I’d still give them both the finger as I fell dead on my face. Is that cold? Maybe. I’ve got my reasons.

What do you considered to be your greatest achievement?

I managed to graduate from college with a full ride using a combination of scholarship money and financial aid, which I qualified for, being the poor orphan that I was. In spite of my circumstances, and here’s more of that evidence of my doggedness when I want something badly enough, I completed a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology.

What is your idea of happiness?

I love those rare moments, usually on a Sunday morning, where I’m crashed on the couch with my only real good friend and roommate, Cynthia, watching sincerely bad reality TV that we can make fun of, where neither of us has to run off to work or to an appointment. Feeling the warmth of friendship is something I really treasure.

What is your current state of mind?

It’s a luxury to indulge in upset and drama, so I’m usually pretty straightforward, good to go, what you see is what you get, let’s get shit done and move on.

What is your most treasured possession?

I have a charm bracelet that my mother gave me the day we went to the fair in her moment of clarity. She explained the meaning behind each charm that day, but the one that I most care about is the one my father gave her when I was born. She refused to talk about him, or tell me who he was, and it made her cry to remember, so I never asked again.

What is your most marked characteristic?

I’m pretty much a smart*ss. Humor goes a long way in making sure people don’t get close to you. It’s good social glue, so people don’t think you’re stuck up, but it also let’s you wear a mask. It’s a smiling mask, but a mask all the same.

What is it that you, most dislike?

Carelessness. So much of the time, it’s seen as a joke, right? Oh, I’m so forgetful, sorry you had to wait again, sorry I didn’t think of you, sorry I lost track of time, and we’re all supposed to laugh when people make those kinds of excuses, but I don’t see it as funny. I see it as self-centered. I understand being forgetful every once in a while, but when it happens regularly, it just says to me, “I don’t care about you.”

Which living person do you, most despise?

It’s hard to say. Hitler sucked, but he’s not living. Could I say Charles Manson? Or the crazy leader of North Korea who is starving his people? The shooters who go into schools and take out kids?

What is your greatest regret?

I never got to have a chance to feel young and carefree. In school, I saw all the kids getting to feel and act like kids. In high school, I had a job and paid the rent on our trailer space since my cousin acted like a great big punk *ss and refused to work. She either wouldn’t get her hands dirty or thought she was too pretty and made for better things or something, but the result was the same. My aunt couldn’t make enough to really support us. I’ve always had to pony up, taking whatever sh*t jobs teens were given, just to make sure the roof stayed over our heads.

What is the quality you most like in a man?

Integrity. I think about what kind of guy I’d eventually like to have in my life, and mostly, beyond enjoying the outer packaging of manly muscles, I like the idea of someone doing right. Someone like that isn’t just out for themselves, you know?

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Honesty. It takes courage to be honest about who you are in this world, particularly if you’re a woman. I probably still struggle with that one myself.

Who is your favorite hero in fiction?

I love Ellen Ripley in Aliens. She is a real bad*ss. She’s tough, doesn’t care what others think. She does what’s right, even if she might die in the process. You can count on her to be consistent. I try to keep that image of her in my mind, the one where she’s in that big robot machine battling her monster. That’s who I want to be.

Which living person do you most admire?

I don’t pay a lot of attention to what other people do, but it’s easy enough to say that Oprah Winfrey does some good things for people. But really, when you’re fabulously wealthy, I think it’s easy to do grand things in the world for others, which doesn’t negate the goodness. But I’ve had teachers who weren’t wealthy who did wonderful things for me in my life who I will never forget. They were selfless.

If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

I would try to be more patient with others. I can look back and see that there have been people, here and there, who were cool and maybe would have made good friends.

What is your motto?

Act as if… If you act as if you own the place when you’re nervous, if you act as if everything is going to be all right, if you act as if, you put in the outcome you’re hoping for, then the chances are higher it will turn out that way. I got that watching Dr. Phil. See? Watching TV can be very beneficial.

If you would like to know more about Taylor check out today’s book blast.